SZN. 4 Ep. 8/ Why Resolutions Fail—And How to Create Real Change in 2026
Why Resolutions Fail—And How to Create Real Change in 2026
By: Alexandria Gohla, MSW, LCSW, Ed.S
The confetti has settled, the champagne glasses are washed, and the calendar has officially flipped. If you’re like most people, you’ve probably made (or at least considered) a New Year’s resolution. Maybe you want to get healthier, save more money, or finally quit that habit that’s been dragging you down.
And yet, here’s the hard truth: research consistently shows that about 80% of resolutions fail by mid-February (Norcross & Vangarelli, 1988; University of Scranton, 2014). Not because people lack willpower or because they don’t care enough, but because the way we make resolutions sets us up for disappointment.
The good news? Real, lasting change is possible—it just requires a different approach.
Why Resolutions Don’t Stick
Here are some common traps that cause resolutions to collapse:
All-or-Nothing Thinking
Resolutions are often rigid. Miss one workout? You feel like you’ve “failed” and give up entirely.Focusing on Outcomes, Not Processes
“I want to lose 20 pounds” is a destination. But without focusing on the daily practices that actually support your well-being, the goal loses traction.External Motivation
Resolutions made because you feel pressured by social media, family, or cultural expectations don’t last. Research shows that intrinsic motivation—doing something because it aligns with your values—creates greater sustainability (Ryan & Deci, 2000).Ignoring the Nervous System
Big, drastic changes can overwhelm your body’s stress response. When your nervous system feels unsafe, resistance kicks in. That’s why somatic psychology emphasizes small, safe, embodied steps over sweeping changes.
How to Create Sustainable Change in 2026
Here are some therapist-backed strategies to help you move beyond resolution fatigue and into meaningful growth:
1. Anchor Your Goals in Values
Instead of “I need to exercise more,” ask: Why does this matter to me?
Value: Health → Process Goal: “I want to feel strong enough to hike with my kids.”
Value: Connection → Process Goal: “I want to have weekly phone calls with a friend.”
When change is rooted in who you want to be, not just what you want to do, it sticks.
2. Think in Micro-Steps, Not Giant Leaps
Behavioral psychology supports the power of small wins. Start with the 2-minute version of a habit:
Meditate for 2 minutes.
Walk around the block instead of committing to 5 miles.
Write one sentence instead of aiming for a whole journal page.
Small actions bypass overwhelm, build momentum, and rewire your brain for consistency.
3. Practice Somatic Grounding When Resistance Shows Up
Change brings discomfort. When you hit resistance, instead of abandoning the goal, pause and regulate your body:
Take 3 slow breaths, feeling your feet on the floor.
Shake out your arms and legs to discharge tension.
Place your hand on your chest and remind yourself: I can move slowly and still move forward.
Your body isn’t the enemy—it’s your ally in sustainable change.
4. Redefine “Success”
Success isn’t perfection. Success is showing up, even inconsistently. Research shows that self-compassion is more effective for long-term motivation than self-criticism (Neff, 2003).
Try reframing:
Instead of “I failed because I missed two days,” say “I showed up five days—that’s five more than before.”
5. Build Systems, Not Just Goals
James Clear (2018) writes in Atomic Habits that “you don’t rise to the level of your goals—you fall to the level of your systems.” Ask yourself:
Do I have environmental supports? (Water bottle by the bed, journal on the nightstand, meal plan in the fridge).
Do I have accountability that feels supportive, not shaming?
Do I have routines that make the goal feel natural instead of forced?
The problem with resolutions isn’t you. It’s the unrealistic, shame-driven way we’ve been taught to make them. Real change happens when we root goals in values, move in small embodied steps, and show ourselves compassion along the way.
So instead of chasing perfection in 2026, what if you chased consistency? Instead of demanding a “new you,” what if you trusted the real you to grow at a pace that feels sustainable?
That’s where transformation really begins.
Call to Action: If you’re ready to break free from the resolution cycle and create change that actually lasts, therapy can help. Together we can explore your values, support your nervous system, and design practical steps toward the life you want. Reach out today to schedule your first session of 2026.
