SZN. 4 Ep. 6/ Coping with Grief During the Holidays
Coping with Grief During the Holidays
By: Alexandria Gohla, MSW, LCSW, Ed.S
The holidays can intensify grief. Whether it’s the first season without a loved one or many years later, memories and traditions often resurface with painful clarity. While the world celebrates, those grieving can feel a heightened sense of absence and isolation.
This will be my first holiday season without my dad. I’ve come to understand firsthand how deeply the holidays can magnify loss — the empty chair, the missing laugh, the small moments that once seemed ordinary but now feel sacred. Even surrounded by family, there can be a quiet ache for the person who isn’t there.
According to the Journal of Loss and Trauma (2016), holiday grief can trigger “secondary losses” — the loss of shared traditions, rituals, or roles. Grief isn’t just about missing the person; it’s also about missing the way life felt with them in it.
Why the Holidays Amplify Grief
Rituals and Traditions: Holiday traditions often included the loved one, making their absence more tangible.
Social Comparison: Seeing others celebrate can deepen feelings of loneliness.
Pressure to be “Cheerful”: Societal expectations to “be merry” can invalidate grief.
How to Navigate Grief During the Holidays
1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel
It’s okay if you don’t feel festive. Allow space for tears, sadness, or quiet reflection without judgment.
2. Create a New Ritual of Remembrance
Light a candle, share a memory, cook their favorite dish, or set a place at the table. Integrating their memory into the season can provide comfort.
3. Communicate Your Needs
Let friends and family know what feels supportive. Do you want to talk about your loved one, or would you prefer to keep certain moments private? Clear communication reduces misunderstandings.
4. Balance Solitude with Connection
Grief can make you want to isolate completely, but connection is healing. Choose one trusted person or group to share time with, even if briefly.
5. Care for Your Body
Grief is not only emotional but physical. Practice gentle movement, hydrate, and rest when needed. Somatic therapy reminds us that the body holds grief, and tending to the body helps release it.
6. Seek Support
Support groups, therapy, or faith-based communities can provide validation and shared understanding during this time.
Grief doesn’t pause for the holidays — and it’s okay to honor both your sorrow and your love. By creating space for remembrance and compassion for yourself, you can carry your loved one’s memory into this season in a way that feels grounding and true.
At Bluebird Counseling Services, we help individuals process grief in ways that honor both pain and healing. If you’re grieving this holiday season, reach out. Together, we can make space for both loss and hope.
