SZN. 4 Ep. 3/ Coping with Divorce During the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Coping with Divorce During the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
By Kelli Majka, LPC
With cooler weather and the calendar turning to November, the holiday season is quickly approaching. The holidays can be a stressful time for anyone, but navigating divorce or separation adds new and often unexpected challenges.
With Thanksgiving and Christmas being so family-focused, it can be difficult to manage emotions about new schedules and changing traditions. Here are seven ways to help you navigate this season — and still find moments of “merry and bright” (even if only sometimes).
1. Give Yourself Grace
It’s okay to feel all the feelings as they come. Being single during this time may or may not have been your choice — but it is your reality. Alongside sadness or grief, there’s also potential for new and meaningful memories.
Don’t judge yourself if there are days you feel sad or want to be alone. Name your emotions as they arise; recognizing and labeling feelings is a powerful way to regulate them. Remember, all of your feelings are valid.
2. Create New Traditions
Challenge yourself to try something different this year. Maybe you’ve always wanted to volunteer, take a weekend getaway, or explore new holiday lights. Creating new rituals can help you form fresh memories and signal your personal growth through this transition.
3. Set Healthy Boundaries
The holiday season often fills up fast — parties, lunches, family gatherings, cookie swaps, and more. It’s okay not to attend everything. Choose activities that feel comfortable and aligned with your energy.
Protect your peace in conversations, too. You’re allowed to say, “I’d rather not discuss that right now,” if people ask about your divorce or personal life.
4. Plan Ahead for Co-Parenting
Sharing custody during the holidays is one of the biggest emotional triggers divorce can bring. Planning ahead helps create stability for everyone involved.
Talk with your co-parent early about schedules and expectations. Remember: the date doesn’t define the celebration — connection does. If celebrating Christmas on December 20th or 27th makes more sense for your family, be flexible. What matters most is the time spent together.
5. Lean on Your Support System
Discover who your support network is and lean on them. Your support system might include friends, family members, or your therapist. Losing the “married family” dynamic doesn’t mean you’re alone.
Asking for support can protect you from emotional burnout and help you feel grounded through this busy season.
6. Practice Self-Care
Self-care is essential — especially when you’re under stress. Maintain your routines as best you can: eat nourishing foods, drink plenty of water, rest when needed, and make time for movement.
It’s easy to lose sight of your own needs during the holidays, but your well-being deserves attention too.
7. Focus on Micro-Joys
Don’t overlook the small, joyful moments — a favorite song on the radio, the sound of ringing bells, a child meeting Santa, or a quiet moment with your own child. These “micro-joys” can lift your mood and remind you that good still exists, even in a season of change.
Therapist-Backed Coping Strategies
As a therapist, I often guide clients through specific coping tools that can make emotional management during the holidays more doable. Here are a few strategies that may help you stay grounded:
Journal intentionally. Set aside ten minutes to write about what you’re grateful for and what feels hard right now — both can coexist. This helps you process emotions rather than suppress them.
Schedule “buffer time.” Build in quiet moments between social events or family transitions. Downtime helps you reset emotionally.
Use compassionate self-talk. Speak to yourself the way you’d comfort a close friend. Remind yourself that it’s okay to be struggling, and that healing takes time.
Even small, intentional coping strategies can help you feel more regulated, centered, and capable during this season.
Final Thoughts
You’re rebuilding after a significant life transition. Like any healing process, it won’t be linear — there will be good days and harder ones.
This season, as you give gifts of your time, energy, and love to others, remember to give yourself one too: the gift of grace. Embrace the possibilities that this new beginning can bring — during the holidays and beyond.
