SZN. 4 Ep. 1/ High Key Gifted, Low Key Exhausted: When Being Smart Feels Like Too Much
High Key Gifted, Low Key Exhausted: When Being Smart Feels Like Too Much
By: Alexandria Gohla, MSW, LCSW, Ed.S
If you’ve ever been called “so capable” but secretly felt like you’re hanging on by a thread, this one’s for you.
Maybe you’re the student who aces advanced classes but spirals before every test. Maybe you’re the creative type whose ideas overflow but whose energy constantly crashes. Or maybe you’re the perfectionist who’d rather not start at all than risk doing something imperfect.
You might just be what therapists call twice-exceptional—or 2e for short.
That means you’re both gifted and dealing with challenges like ADHD, anxiety, dyslexia, or perfectionism. Your brain runs fast and deep, but sometimes the emotions, attention, or expectations that come with that speed make it hard to keep pace.
It’s not that you’re lazy or dramatic. It’s that your engine is always running, even when you’re out of gas.
The Push-Pull of the 2e Experience
Being 2e can feel like living with your foot on both the gas and the brake. You know you’re capable of great things—but something keeps tripping the circuit.
One student I worked with could compose full piano pieces from memory yet felt like a failure because reading in class took longer. Another teen wrote breathtaking short stories but couldn’t bring herself to turn them in unless they were “perfect.”
Their stories share the same theme: the world sees your potential, but not the energy it takes to live up to it.
And that constant push to prove yourself? It’s exhausting.
Perfectionism Isn’t Motivation—It’s Fear in Disguise
Perfectionism can masquerade as ambition. It looks like color-coded planners, perfect grades, and endless overachievement. But underneath? It’s often fear—fear of being seen as “not good enough,” “not smart enough,” or “not worth it.”
It’s procrastinating because you can’t bear the idea of failing. It’s deleting a post or ripping up a drawing because it didn’t look exactly right.
The truth is, perfectionism doesn’t make you perform better. It makes you anxious, avoidant, and disconnected from joy.
So what if you tried a different goal?
Progress, not perfection.
Messy drafts, not flawless first tries.
Showing up, not showing off.
Because growth doesn’t happen in the moments you look perfect—it happens in the moments you risk being real.
Why Smart Doesn’t Always Mean Okay
When we talk about “gifted” teens, people picture confidence, motivation, and success. But many gifted students carry invisible stress loads—racing thoughts, sensory overwhelm, constant mental comparison.
You might struggle with:
Anxiety: worrying about letting people down.
ADHD: big ideas, harder follow-through.
Depression or burnout: feeling unmotivated despite high ability.
Emotional intensity: feeling everything—deeply and all at once.
These aren’t character flaws. They’re signs that your brain is wired for depth and sensitivity—and needs different care, not more criticism.
Therapeutic approaches like DBT, CBT, and ACT can help balance those intense inner worlds.
DBT teaches emotional regulation and grounding (like splashing cold water or using breath to reset your nervous system).
CBT helps reframe self-critical thoughts (“One grade doesn’t define me”).
ACT focuses on living by your values—even when anxiety tags along.
You don’t have to “fix” how you’re wired. You just need the tools to drive it differently.
Test Stress, Burnout, and the Myth of “Just Try Harder”
Test anxiety, burnout, and overwhelm are not signs of weakness—they’re your nervous system saying, “This is too much.”
When your brain senses threat, it doesn’t care if it’s a tiger or a timed math test—it floods you with adrenaline either way. Racing heart. Shaky hands. Blank mind.
If you’ve ever frozen mid-test even though you studied, that’s not laziness—it’s biology.
Before you judge yourself, pause.
Try grounding your body first:
Feet on the floor.
Inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for six.
Tell yourself: “I can feel nervous and still think clearly.”
That single breath is a small act of defiance against burnout culture.
Breaking the Stigma: You Don’t Have to Be the Strong One All the Time
Even with all the progress we’ve made in talking about mental health, stigma still whispers, “Don’t make it a big deal.”
But it is a big deal—because you are.
One in five teens experiences a mental health challenge each year, and many feel like they have to hide it. But when one person opens up, it gives everyone else permission to breathe.
If you don’t have a safe person yet, there are always resources waiting for you:
Crisis Text Line — Text HOME to 741741
NAMI — Mental health education + community support
Child Mind Institute — Tools for kids, teens, and parents
Here’s the Truth
Being twice-exceptional doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you have both depth and complexity. It means you see and feel the world in high definition.
You can be brilliant and burnt out. Gifted and grieving. Smart and still learning to take care of yourself.
The goal isn’t to dim your light—it’s to find a rhythm that keeps it burning.
So if you’re feeling high key gifted but low key exhausted, know this:
You don’t need to earn rest.
You don’t have to be perfect to belong.
And you are allowed to be both capable and human at the same time.
