SZN. 3 Ep. 23/ The Myth of Summer Happiness: Coping with Emotional Discomfort During “the Happiest Season”
The Myth of Summer Happiness: Coping with Emotional Discomfort During “the Happiest Season”
By: Alexandria Gohla, MSW, LCSW, Ed.S
July often comes wrapped in expectations—sunny skies, fireworks, family vacations, carefree weekends. Social media is filled with pictures of beach days, pool parties, and smiling faces that suggest everyone is living their best life. And while some people may genuinely feel lighter and more joyful during the summer months, others find themselves quietly wondering, Why don’t I feel the way I’m “supposed” to feel right now?
If you're experiencing anxiety, loneliness, grief, burnout, or emotional flatness during July, you're not alone—and you're not broken. In fact, many adults report heightened stress and emotional dissonance in the summer, especially when it feels like the world expects you to be carefree.
This post explores why summer can bring up unexpected discomfort, how to normalize those feelings, and what you can do to care for your emotional health—without forcing yourself to fake a smile.
Why Summer Isn’t Easy for Everyone
1. More Unstructured Time = More Emotional Noise
The pace of summer may slow down, but that space can allow old stressors or emotions to surface. Without the distractions of tightly packed schedules, many people find themselves face-to-face with feelings they’ve been avoiding.
2. Pressure to Be Happy
Cultural narratives around summer—especially in July—push the idea that this is the time to feel light and joyful. When your internal reality doesn’t match that external message, it can create shame or self-judgment.
3. Disrupted Routines
For those who rely on routine to manage anxiety or emotional regulation, summer can be challenging. Vacations, childcare changes, weather disruptions, or less structure can all lead to dysregulation or feeling “off.”
4. Loneliness and Social Comparison
Social media often intensifies feelings of inadequacy in the summer. Seeing friends and acquaintances post highlight reels of travel, outings, or family fun can trigger comparison, especially if you're struggling with isolation, grief, financial stress, or relationship strain.
5. Unresolved Emotional Cycles
Summer is not immune to grief anniversaries, trauma triggers, or mental health symptoms. The assumption that these should go away in the sunshine is simply false—and can be invalidating.
Signs You Might Be Struggling Emotionally in July
Feeling like you “should” be happier than you are
Irritability or restlessness with no clear cause
Fatigue, sadness, or a sense of disconnection
Avoiding social plans even though you feel lonely
Increased anxiety or difficulty focusing
Comparing your summer to others’ and feeling inadequate
Ways to Care for Yourself During Summer Discomfort
1. Normalize What You Feel—All of It
There is no “wrong” way to feel in July. Acknowledge your emotions without judgment. You might say to yourself:
“It makes sense that I feel this way.”
“My emotions don’t have to match the season.”
“Joy is not a requirement for summer.”
Practicing emotional validation is one of the first steps toward self-compassion.
2. Limit the Comparison Trap
Social media can distort reality—especially during seasonal highs. If you find yourself spiraling after scrolling, take a break. Curate your feed to include more realness, mental health content, or accounts that offer emotional honesty.
You can also remind yourself: “I’m seeing someone’s highlight reel, not their whole life.”
3. Create Your Own Version of Summer Well-Being
What actually feels soothing to you? It doesn’t have to look like vacations or big social events. It might be:
Morning walks before the heat
Reading a book alone in the shade
Going to the movies or creating a home spa night
Making cold brew and journaling in your favorite chair
Saying no to plans that drain you, and yes to rest
Give yourself permission to define your summer on your own terms.
4. Anchor Yourself with Routine or Rhythm
If summer feels too loose or unstructured, consider adding gentle rhythms back in:
A consistent wake/sleep schedule
Daily rituals like stretching, mindful breathing, or tea
Weekly check-ins with yourself or a friend
Planning meals or intentions for the week ahead
Routine can be a life raft when everything else feels too open.
5. Talk About It—Even If It Feels Uncomfortable
Sometimes just saying, “I’m not loving summer the way I thought I would,” can be freeing. You might be surprised by how many others feel the same way. Emotional honesty creates connection—and can reduce the shame of feeling different.
If you need more support, therapy is a powerful space to explore these feelings. Whether you're carrying grief, anxiety, burnout, or uncertainty, you don’t have to navigate it alone.
What If Summer Isn’t About Happiness at All?
Maybe summer isn’t about “feeling happy” but instead about slowing down, paying attention, and giving yourself space to breathe. Maybe this is your season for rest, reflection, or quiet transformation—not fireworks and fanfare.
Your emotional truth belongs—no matter the weather, the month, or the mood of those around you.
You Deserve a Season That Honors You
At Bluebird Counseling Services, we know that life doesn’t pause for summer—and neither do your emotional needs. If you’re ready to stop pretending and start healing, we’re here to help. Our compassionate, down-to-earth therapists offer support that meets you exactly where you are, even when you’re unsure how to begin.
You don’t need to fake the sunshine. We’ll sit with you in the shade.
This July, give yourself permission to feel what’s real—and let that be enough.
